Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass

"Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass" is the ninth episode of the second season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Synopsis
is outraged over smoking in the bar, and teams up with  to start an anti-smoking rally. Meanwhile, Mac, Dennis, and turn Paddy's Pub into an "anything goes" bar... which goes horribly awry thanks to the new clientele: drug abusers and Vietnamese gamblers.

Recap
2:30 AM on a Saturday

As complains about Charlie Work,  blows cigarette smoke into his face. Charlie gets pissed and suggests banning smoking in the bar. agrees. Mac, Dennis, and disagree, calling smoking bans un-American.

At an anti-smoking street performance, Dee and Charlie find out that the protester is actually just an actor and doesn't care about smoking. Charlie gets pissed and Dee convinces him the best way to help his cause is by street performing himself. The next day they give a performance of their own, but Charlie locks up and vomits in stage fright. Dee enlists Artemis for her next performance in front of Paddy's, but Charlie scares away their audience, trying to get less patronage at the bar.

Meanwhile, Dennis, Mac, and Frank decide to make Paddy's an "anything goes" bar. A lot of attractive college girls attend the first couple of nights, showing their breasts for beads and t-shirts. The crowd Frank gathered, however, slowly scares them away. His crowd, Vietnamese gamblers who smoke heavily, aren't appreciated by Dennis and Mac but they don't want to be hypocritical about their "anything goes" mantra. Ryan and Liam McPoyle show up at the bar, making Dennis and Mac re-think their new bar's strategy. They manage to keep the McPoyles in the corner and allow Frank to have Paddy's basement to do more intense gambling. The next night, however, the bar is full of McPoyles and drug addicts.

Dee and Charlie enter Paddy's, arguing about their latest demonstration. Charlie is stabbed by Liam for sending them to prison. Mac and Dennis decide to call the "anything goes" tactic off and go to the basement to shoo out Frank's crowd. The gambling has taken a dark turn, for they are now playing Russian Roulette. After a man dies, Dennis decides to call the cops.

Alliances

 * and Mac team up to make the bar "anything goes".
 * and team up against smoking.

Starring

 * Charlie Day as Charlie Kelly
 * Glenn Howerton as Dennis Reynolds
 * Rob McElhenney as Mac
 * Kaitlin Olson as Dee Reynolds
 * Danny DeVito as Frank Reynolds

Guest Starring

 * Jimmi Simpson Liam McPoyle
 * Nate Mooney as Ryan McPoyle
 * Carla Alapont as Cute Girl #1
 * Sabrina Machado as Cute Girl #2
 * Artemis Pebdani as Artemis

Co-Starring

 * Dennis Staroselsky as Junkie
 * Morgan Vukovic as Cute Girl #3
 * Lucas Papaelias as Lucas

Uncredited

 * Thesy Surface as Margaret McPoyle

Trivia

 * Mac mentions how the bar cannot serve booze before noon on Sundays. This is a reference to Blue laws in Pennsylvania, which limit alcohol sales on Sundays.
 * The game of Russian roulette played by Frank&apos;s Vietnamese friends is a parody/tribute to the film The Deer Hunter in which U.S. Army prisoners are forced to play the game for their captors amusement.
 * Charlie&apos;s song "Rock, Flag, and Eagle" is completely an improvisation of Charlie Day. During that take, Charlie completely forgot the original version of this song, but truck commercials that featured heavy usage of traditional American symbols were on his mind during filming.
 * In the beginning when Charlie is complaining about the Charlie work, there is a blue lighter lying on the bar. A minute later, it&apos;s gone.
 * The Jonestown Tragedy and Attica Prison riot both were mentioned in this episode - as well as Hurricane Katrina. When Charlie mentions Attica it is a reference to the Al Pacino movie Dog Day Afternoon. This is the first of many times Charlie imitates different Al Pacino characters.
 * When Frank is at the corner of the bar talking to the guys about the Vietnamese gamblers, there are two orange circles on the bar that appear and reappear during the scene.
 * When Frank is sitting at the table with the paper and telling Sweet Dee she&apos;s not pretty enough to be an actress, his drink straw is lying on the table. In the next shot, it&apos;s back in his drink.
 * Mac is not familiar with Stalin, who is a major historical figure.
 * Later, Frank&apos;s experience of running a sweatshop will come in handy for him in "The Aluminum Monster vs. Fatty Magoo."
 * We get a far more graphic description of life in the sweatshop in the Season 12 episode "Making Dennis Reynolds a Murderer."

Quotes
"I am done with rat detail. It's by far the worst job in the bar!"

- charlie

"Look, I didn't go to Vietnam just to have pansies like you take my freedom away from me."

- frank

"And a lot of good men died in that sweatshop!"

- frank

"You don't know shit about the Constitution."

- charlie

"Get in your little van and drive out of my face before I go America all over your ass!"

- charlie

"No, Mac. We should go to the library. At sorority houses you're going to find nothing but tramps and whores -- those girls are already wild."

- dennis

"No, no, Mac. You're not listening to me. We don't want wild girls, we want real girls going wild. It's important to see the transition, you want to watch the process."

- dennis

"This is what it was like to have a bar in New Orleans, bro!"

- dennis

"Oh, they totally had had their shit figured out, yeah... except for the LEVEES."

- dennis

"You ask to see a woman's breasts on the street you get slapped. You give her a free t-shirt and video tape it and the clothes come right off."

- Mac

"Let me kick down a thing to you that our founding fathers kicked down to me. It goes: "Don't. Tread. On Me." Right now you guys are treading all over me!"

- charlie

"I'm gonna rise up, gonna kick a little ass. Gonna kick some ass in the USA. Gonna climb a mountain, gonna sew a flag, gonna fly on an eagle. I'm gonna kick some butt, gonna drive a big truck. I'm gonna rule this world. I'm gonna kick some ass. I'm gonna rise up, gonna kick a little ass. Rock, flag, and eagle!"

- charlie

"I am not a failure!"

- dee

"Uh, that would in fact be a failure."

- dennis

"Is there any nudity involved?"

- artemis

"Can there be?"

- artemis

"Alright, I'll do it anyway."

- artemis

"Hey, Ryan! How you doing? Look man, sorry to interrupt you, but if you're not too busy showering in your brother's urine or plotting your revenge against me, would you might lighting my cigarette?"

- charlie

"(about Vietnamese music) This music sounds like whales raping each other."

- mac

"(to Charlie) You just got fork-stabbed!"

- liam

"(Approaching Dennis and Mac, with Ryan and their sister Margaret) Hey, man, my sister wants to ask you something."

- liam

"She's mute, dude."

- liam

"She wants to show you her boobies."

- ryan

"Trust me, they're top-notch."

- ryan