The Gang Gets New Wheels

"The Gang Gets New Wheels" is the fifth episode of the thirteenth season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. It aired on October 3, 2018.

Synopsis
gets in with a group of cool, rich housewives. hits it off with some everyday blue-collar bros. struggles to renew his license, and and Mac deal with a new generation of bicycle bullies.

Plot
3:15 PM, on a Tuesday, Philadelphia, PA

At the pub, Dennis gathers the gang around him, announcing himself open to personal questions about his departure, return and family in North Dakota. The gang, however, is completely disinterested, so Dennis resorts to asking himself the questions he wants to answer. He then demands to know where his Range Rover is, but learns that it's exactly where he left it, albeit now a charred husk as the gang blew it up with the rocket launcher.

The gang visits a local car dealership, where Dennis picks out a brand new 2018 Range Rover. Frank, however, only reimburses Dennis $473, the Kelley Blue Book value, for the destruction of his old car. Dennis instead settles for a Toyota Prius, while Frank buys the Range Rover for himself. Since Frank's driver's license is expired (since 1984), Dee is allowed to use his car on the condition that she serve as Frank's chauffeur until he can renew his license.

Meanwhile, Mac and Charlie purchase a set of identical BMX bikes and reminisce about the bicycles they had as children, which were stolen by local bully Shawn Dumont. As they do, a gang of young bullies on bicycles suddenly encircle them, hurling insults before Mac and Charlie make their getaway.

Dee makes the acquantaince of two wealthy middle-aged Range Rover-driving women. Frank struggles at driving school and asks his teenaged classmate Aidan to let him copy his test answers in exchange for "real deal" porno, to which Aidan agrees.

A man, John, enters the backseat of Dennis' Prius, mistaking Dennis for his Über driver. As John shares his interest in "economy" activities such as fantasy sports, Dennis warms to the concept, remarking that driving an economy car has changed his outlook on life. They strike up a friendship and Dennis starts attending John's fantasy sports league.

Mac and Charlie are further reliving their childhood, buying and opening packs of baseball cards. As they exit the shop, they find that Mac's bike has been stolen. Meanwhile, Frank has led Aidan into the forest to uncover an ancient stash of porn magazines from Frank's youth. Aidan is unimpressed, having believed that Frank was going to get him laid. Frank assures Aidan that Dennis can get him laid.

Dee is getting a spa treatment with her new rich friends, as they discuss their husbands and "boy toys". When Karen remarks that Dee has never been married, Dee is furious and swears revenge. Meanwhile, Frank and Aidan arrive to meet Dennis at the fantasy sports league. Aidan is again unimpressed, as Dennis' masculinity seems to have completely vanished. Dennis tries and fails to pick up Tara, the lone woman at the fantasy sports league, his mojo provably gone.

Mac and Charlie track down the bike bullies from earlier, finding the leader of the pack, Stephen, on Mac's bicycle. As they demand the bike's return, Stephen's father appears, none other than Shawn Dumont. Shawn refuses to have his child return the bike. At Karen's house, Dee suddenly appears and smugly declares that she has had sex with Karen's "boy toy", thereby cuckolding her. In reality, though, she had sex with Karen's underage son Aidan.

Mac and Charlie decide to finally stand up for themselves and return to Shawn Dumont's house, where they savagely beat the children who stole Mac's bicycle. At John's house, Dennis discovers an old Range Rover, identical to his previous car, in the garage. He buys it from John and immediately regains his old personality, disparaging John as a "soy boy beta cuck".

As Dennis is driving along, he spots Mac and Charlie hurriedly running down the street away from the scene of their crime, certain that at least one of the children is dead. Dennis hushes and calms them. He next spots Frank and Dee having crashed the 2018 Range Rover in an intersection and pick them up as well. He dismisses their worries also, ending the episode with the words "You're in the Range Rover now. All is well".

Starring

 * Charlie Day as Charlie Kelly
 * Glenn Howerton as Dennis Reynolds
 * Rob McElhenney as Mac
 * Kaitlin Olson as Dee Reynolds
 * Danny DeVito as Frank Reynolds

Guest Starring

 * Tyler Labine as Shawn Dumont
 * Logan Miller as Aidan
 * Tricia O'Kelley as Brenda
 * Gillian Vigman as Karen
 * Jim Cashman as John

Co-Starring

 * Spencer Baik as Valet
 * Nathan Blaiwes as Stephen
 * Treisa Gary as Teacher
 * Aaron Ikeda as Salesman
 * Ilana Cohn as Tara

Trivia

 * This is the fourth episode where the word "fuck" is not censored in the original airing, after "Making Dennis Reynolds a Murderer", "Hero or Hate Crime?", and "The Gang Makes Paddy's Great Again".
 * Charlie notes that the Chuck Knoblauch card that he got is "pre-yips." This refers to problems that Knoblauch, who played most of his career as a second baseman, suddenly developed problems throwing from second to first base soon after he signed with the Yankees.

Continuity

 * Dennis' previous Range Rover was blown up in the Season 12 finale "Dennis' Double Life."
 * Charlie mentions that Fight Milk makes him "so sick." In the Season 12 episode "Wolf Cola: A Public Relations Nightmare", we found out that Fight Milk causes severe gastrointestinal distress: some UFC fighters have begun drinking it to intentionally make themselves sick to cut weight before weigh-in for their next fight.
 * Dee calling herself a "golden goddess" and referring to others as "idiots" and "savages" echoes similar things that Dennis has said; he called himself a "golden god" in the Season 7 episode "The High School Reunion (Part One)", and the "idiots, savages" rant comes from the Season 5 episode "The Gang Reignites The Rivalry."
 * Dee doesn’t commit statutory rape in this episode, as the age of consent in Pennsylvania is 16. She similarly was not close to doing it in Underage Drinking: A National Concern, where her date was also of age.

Quotes
"I am a 2018 Range Rover woman. I am a golden goddess."

- dee

"We did a bad thing, dude. I think I killed a kid."

- charlie